Feb. 10th Intimacy and Relationships

Tuesday February 10 th 1 st Exam Next week. 50 mult. Choice worth 2 points each. During Class Men ' s Bodies ? Tuesday Feb 25 th 7:30pm Sun Room in the MU write 1 page response paper ? summary and reaction Intimacy & Love Intimacy: Reciprocal truth, emotional closeness, and mutually comfortable levels of self-disclosure between partners and individuals Intimate Relationships Relationships that involve emotions, psychological, and physical closeness or are otherwise meaningful to individuals can involve Partners, spouses, children Intimacy is Multi-contextual Immediate Context: the physical setting in which couples interacting Personal context: personality traits, attitudes and belief about the relationship Relational Context: companionship, trust, level of commitment, needs for intimacy Group Context: social network of family, friends, peers, neighbors Sociocultural Context: norms Developing Capacity for Intimacy is Part of Individual Development D.C. Dunphy, 1963 Friendship Development Stage 1: Pre-Crowd (K ? 5 th grade mostly in isolated same sex peer groups) Stage 2: The Beginning of the Crowd (6 th to 7 th grade ? crowds of 10 or so ? dances, parties, interactions with the opposite sex) Stage 3: The Crowd in Transition (8 th or 9 th grade ? smaller clique emerge ? early maturing boys and girls begin to pair off) Stage 4: The fully developed Crowd (High school and college ? entirely opposite sex groups mix with same sex groups (group of guys hangout with group of girls)) Stage 5: Crowd Disintegration (adulthood ? taking on adult roles) Barriers to intimacy Family of origin is not t oo or is too intimate rigid sex roles Poor communication abuse, neglect in childhood fears Fear of Intimacy failure of being vulnerable rejection being smothered sex losing someone take a risk accepting responsibility anger or hostility abandonment being found out Intimacy can be positive or negative The old ?family feeling? Each family ' s own private rituals, rules, customs that is a blend of positive, neutral and negative intimacy Examples: family dinners, arguments about homework, story times, getting ready for school, pets, ?s mells of home? Retreat from intimacy is.. useful when intimacy is negative or dysfunctional emotional abuse physical violence drugs and alcohol lack of positive support divorce and union dissolution Solution to Negative Intimacy: Creating a ?Businessl ike? Relationship Family Genogram a tool used by family therapists and professionals who work with families to map out family dynamics and emotional connectedness between family members Helpful in identifying risks for problems, structural patterns, and family crises and chronic life stressors (pregnancy, etc.) Our of class assignment 2 Love and Loving Searching for love.. What is love? Love is culturally-Defined Traditional/Collectivist Cultures Goals of whole society are given priority over individual goals Membesr strive to be equal Behavior is driven by sense of obligation and duty Latinos value interdependent relationshiips Asians emphasize importance of collective whole Modern/Individualist cultures Individual goals are promoted over group goals People define their identity by personal attributes wealth social status education level Promote the idea of autonomy and individuation How does our culture define love? Symbols feelings words demonstrations power What do all of these have in common?/ They focus on romantic love romantic love: an idealized version of love that involves high emotional intensity, heightened physical sensations (chemistry) and aspects of irrationality, lack of control, and powerlessness Princesses in Disney Movies Can you choose to love? Is there such a thing as a soul-mate? Match.com ? homogamous (relationship with someone who has the same interests/characteristics as you) ? Heterogamou s (relationship with someone of different race ? different interests characteristics) The bachelor