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possess both sets of the competencies that are stereotypically associated with being male and with being female. Having both male and female characteristics.
Knowing everything that’s going on around you through social media
we are social creatures—we need regular social contact with those to whom one feels connected. We are hardwired to belong to groups and to connect with other people. If we do not have close relationships, we feel depressed. We function better when we have these social connections. If one leaves their social needs unfulfilled, they are likely to die younger than those who are happily attached to others. We are at a loss, prone to illness and maladjustment, when we have insufficient intimacy in our lives.
o More “ambient awareness” of others
o Fewer face-to-face interactions
o Much of interactions/relationships are far more public, thanks to cell phones, camera phones, Facebook, blogs, etc.
o More impersonal/detached endings to relationships (is this good or bad?)
more ambient awareness, fewer face-to-face interactions, much of interactions/ relationships are much more public thanks to cellphones, cameraphones, facebook, blogs, etc, and more impersonal/ detached endings to relationships.
§ Like and seek relationships
§ Emotionally healthy
§ Mom could sooth child
§ Become clingy and jealous later in life
§ Do not calm down easily with mother
§ Don’t care about mom when she comes back into the room
§ Do not value relationships
§ High and mighty
o Gender roles and gender stereotypes
o Masculine v. feminine
o Instrumental v. expressive traits
o Being androgynous
o Contrived incompatibility
· different cultural/evolutionary influences on mate selection and intimate relationships.
o Natural selection and sexual selection
o Personal/parental investment
o Paternity certainty
o Long-term v. short-term mate prospects
o Gender differences in mate selection
o Culture changes more quickly than evolution
o More successful
o Less societal support
o Meet partners through social networking(referral) not random people in a bar
o combines the results of several studies that address a set of related research hypotheses.
Propinquity/Proximity – People who are close to you, nearby are more likely to be chosen as a potential partner.
Social Background – Demographics. Seek out people who are similar to our selves.
Attraction - Important to be sexually attracted
Family / Peer influence - family / friends have to like bf/gf
if someone is physically attractive, they must also be attractive in other ways.
partners exhibit qualities we want but don’t have.
False expectations which ultimately become true due to the actions of the “expecter”
false predictions that become true because they lead people to behave in ways that make the erroneous expectations true. The events that result from them occur only because people expect them to, and then act as if they will.
opposites, but compliment each other fairly well, im good in math so I can help you in math.. youre good in English so you can help me in English.
- Portray partners in the best possible light.
o Balance of idealism and reality is best
- We bend our expectations to fit reality
- Positive illusions have benefits
They seek information that will prove them right more often than they look for examples that would prove them wrong.
The sender’s intentions differ from the effect on the receiver.
o The development of a relationship is closely tied to systematic changes in communication.
§ Breadth – The variety of topics they discuss
§ Depth – The personal significance of the topics they discuss
- Humans are social creatures – we need “regular social contact with those to whom one feels connected”
- Quality over quantity
- What rather than who
- If need is not met, people suffer
- Evolutionarily adaptive behavior
Historical Changes in Relationships 1960 vs. Today
- Age at first marriage is older
- Fewer people are marrying
- More people are cohabiting before marriage
- More babies are born outside of marriage
- Most children live in a single parent home at some point
- More marriages end in divorce
- Most mothers work outside the home
- Most women are not currently married
- More “ambient awareness” of others
- Fewer face to face interactions
- Much of interactions / relationships are far more public, thank to cell phones, camera phones, Facebook, etc.
- More impersonal/detached endings to relationships
- Most “differences” are very small
o Statistical v. practical differences
- Men and women are far more different from others of their same sex than from each other
- NO cohabition doesnt work
- Cohabitation before marriage makes people MORE likely to divorce
Miss out on some realism but you can act out exactly what you want.
Are we measuring what we say we’re measuring?
are we measuring what the data is measuring? How well something measures what its supposed to.
People have a tendency to make them selves look better than they actually are, Unintentional. Give oneself credit for things we do, but don’t take credit for things that we don’t do.
- Dating and mate selection is based on biology and evolution
- What do men want?
o Young, healthy, women who can bare children and have healthy kids
o 0.7 Waist to hip ratio – important for bearing children
- What do women want?
o Men who can provide resources and money to help raise child
- Physical beauty signifies physical and mental health
We like people who we are familiar with. Even if you’ve never talked to them but took a class with them or went to school with them there easier to get to know. Over – exposure can make people get tired of one another.
Looking for woman with a nice face, .7 hip to waist ratio, woman with longer hair, usually shorter woman then themselves.
Men who are taller than them, 1 hip to waist ratio, strong, chizzled, masculine, looking for different things depending on menstrual cycle.
= Attractiveness x Probability of Acceptance
- People are typically overconfident in their beliefs about others
- Unfortunately, accuracy often does NOT increase over time, but confidence that you’re right does
- Existing beliefs are influential at every stage of relationships (not just at the beginning)
- Outsiders actually are often the best judges of a relationship
- We take credit for success, but avoid blame for failure
- People expect others to be self-serving, but don’t believe they are themselves
- We give credit for the good intentions we had (but never acted on), but judge others only by what they actually do
- My excuse is a reason – your reason is just an excuse
- To describe the manner in which our memories are continually revised and rewritten as new information is obtained.
- The past influences the present
- Couples jointly construct memories of their relationship
- warmth and loyalty
- attractiveness and vitality
- status and resources
o Happy relationships are a result of hard work
o Good relationships develop gradually
o Any relationship can succeed if you both work at it
- Growth beliefs are more committed, more optimistic, and more realistic
- Good or bad, beliefs tend to be stable
- John Gottman
o P and Q space
- Attributions have momentum and are self-sustaining
- Intended v. received message
- The power of expectations
o Remember John Gottman? P and Q space
o Happy couples look for positive interpretations; unhappy couples look for negative interpretations regardless of the actual intent
- Senders intent à Sender’s actions
- Sender’s actions à Listener’s interpretation
- The result? Communication is a fragile thing…
All of the things people do except for spoken language
What people actually say
- People tend to unconsciously imitate partners’ nonverbal behaviors (if they are comfortable and like them)
- People like interactions more when their nonverbal behaviors are reflected/imitated back at them
The process of revealing personal information to someone else.
- Discuss feelings, personal matters, and gossip
- Be more indirect and tentative
- Do less of the talking when with men
- Self-disclose more and elicit more self-disclosure in established relationships
- Discuss impersonal objects and actions, seek humor instead of support/counsel
- Be more direct and confident
- Talk more if with women
- Self-disclose less to other men than women
expecting partnerships to continue indefinitely , and they invest the time, effort, and resources that are needed to realize that goal.
we create differences where they dont have to be. We create couples where they dont have anything in common, we create expectations that drive us apart. Problems with gender differences and relationships based on traditional genders bring about the incompatibility.
key is random selection. Should represent the larger group it was selected from. The more representative it is, the better the research outcome will be. A truly representative study of marriage, for example, would need to include married people of all sorts—all ages, nationalities, and socio economic levels.
whoever happened to come by. Very random.
- non experimental observing and describing behavior of a subject without influencing it in any way. Does not gather the causes behind a situation.
- do two events, x and y change together? The larger a correlation, the more highly related two events are. Correlation ranges from -1 to 1.
- key is random assignment. Provide straightforward information about causes and their effects because experimenters create and control the conditions they study. Researchers intentionally manipulate one or more variables and randomly assign participants to the different conditions they have created to see how those changes effected people.
- control for variables you think might have led people to self neglect into groups. People place themselves into the group and the instructor question why they each placed themselves into that group.
One- time data collection- one group, one time
Cross sectional research- multiple groups, onetime`
Longitudinal research- one group, multiple times
Sequential research- multiple groups, multiple times
Retrospective research- one group, one time, looking back at a certain time (seniors looking back at freshman year)
- self report- asking people about their experiences
- other report-
- observations- observing behavior directly.
- Physiological- measures assess such responses as heart rate, muscle tension, genital arousal, brain activity, and hormone levels to determine how our physical states are associated with our social behavior.
- archival material- documents that become dated, they then become archival information.
- meta analysis- studies that statistically combine the results from several prior studies. An investigator compiles all existing studies of a particular phenomenon and combines their results to identify the themes they contain.
- self- serving bias- I give myself too much credit. Unintentional. Think their giving the honest answer. Putting things in your favor.
- social desirability- I see the “right” answer. Intentional, you know what the person asking wants to hear. Say what you think the right answer to the question is.
- observer bias- I see what I want to see
- reactivity- im on my best behavior. You are more likely to act different if you are alone compared to if someone is watching you.
- recall bias- I don’t remember accurately. Asks about anything in past. People are not accurate judges about what happened to them in the past.
- participant attrition- I drop out of the study
women want men that have status, can protect and stay with them past conception.
Both men and women wants symmetry because physical beauty signifies mental health. They want warmth and loyalty.
- propinquity/ proximity
- social background
- family/ peer influence
- selected partners
the more similar two people are to one another, the more they like each other.
Trade assets: exchanging traits but have same mate value. Money for looks. Perceived similarity makes us think they are similar at initial attraction.
also they attach more importance to attractiveness and vitality in long term relationships more than status and resources. An average guy prefers a kind beautiful woman with no money rather than a rich grouchy beautiful woman.
1. attraction- rewards in the relationship
3. barriers: high for married couples
Observer makes errors in measuring and interpreting results because of what s/he wants to happen.