Can be viewed as a symbolic and traditional process through which we create and share meanings.
Info exchanged when we communicate
Content level vs. Relationship Level
Content- Literal message- "Welcome to walmart."
How the content is communicated (Rolling eyes) "Welcome to walmart."
Info conveyed by how a message is expressed. Behaviors and nonverbal cues 1. This is how I see me 2. This is how I see you. 3. This is how I see me, seeing you
Others interpretation of your message. Person with low self-esteem takes joke as an insult
Conversational style (elements)
-Unique style of communicating with others -Non verbal cues like touching -Facial expressions and body postures -The extent to which messages are congruent- When all messages convey the same meaning vs. Incongruent- (nodding head yes, but looking mad)
Private Message System
Pattern of communicating that promotes mutual understanding and the experience of intimacy
When we consistently provide our partners with feedback that we value them, care, and share concern for their welfare
Factors of shaping and framing messages
-Context- Saying "I love you" in public vs. alone -Physical and Social environment -Interpersonal needs, self concept, self-esteem -Culture and Ethnicity -Family origin
Rule of reciprocity
Demands that others must match the disclosures of their own that are equally revealing (the more you share, the closer you are)
Couples develop strategies for dealing with misunderstandings 1. Ability to establish realistic communication strategies 2. Ability to exercise self-control
Ability of individuals to adapt their manner of communication to various situations -It may be better to postpone a difficult convo for a time when both people have a lot of time
Areas of conflict in Marriage
-Lack of quality time -Unfair division of Labor -Disagreement about child rearing -Lack of sexual satisfaction -Finances -Difficulty with in-laws -Traumatic events
Underlying sources of conflict
-Role expectations -Need for connectedness and separateness -Fairness and equity
Conflict management goals
-Behavior is purposeful -Actions reflect goals and objectives -Maintaining intimacy, eliminating conflict, winning
Legitimate VS nonlegitimate power
When authority of a partner is negotiated within the relationship- Not problematic
Efforts to control partner attempt to dominate without concern for partner's input needs or interest
4 Horsemen and Apocalypse
Criticism Defensiveness Contempt Stonewalling
palms sweat, heart rate increases shallow breating. On partner is no longer able to think clearly and unable to particpate in constructive criticism "I can't do this anymore"
1. Universal Nuclear Family- Mom, dad, kids live together 2. Family Harmony- Loving all others in the family 3. Parental Determinism- All you will be is what your parents want 4. Stable & Harmonious Past- "It was much easier to raise a child in the past"
New Life phases due to longevity, morality, and fertality
"The favorite age"- Children get to be children. Adolescence is often a favorite age "The discovery of adulthood"- New stages of adult hood, coming to terms with decline of body and mid-life chrisis -"The New Aging"- More elderly people- Diet, exercise, Grandparents
4 Changes since the 1950's
1. 90% of households in the country were families 2. Tremendous hostility toward gays, jews, blacks, latinos, etc. 3. Lower high school graduate levels 4. Confidence in government, business, and education
4 social factors--> De-Institutionalized Marriage
1. Cohabitation- "Goodies of being married without being married." 2. Division of labor- More opportunities for women 3. Same-sex marriages- De-emphasizing male/female roles 4. Child bearing outside of marriage
3 impediments to dating for LGB
1. Finding a suitable partern --> Many closeted 2. Verbal and Physical harassment 3. Lack of public recognition
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